Marriage is a Private Affair

Marriage is a Private Affair: Chinua Achebe, Nigeria (1930-)

Summary:

"Marriage is a Private Affair" is a story written by Chinua Achebe. This story portrays the realistic conflict between old and new generations in Niegerian society in particular and in all the societies in general. In fact, this story shows the victory of new generation with modern values over the traditional customs.

Nnaemeka is a village boy from Ibo tribe of Nigeria. His father named Okeke is very traditional and rigid. Nnaemeka goes to town for his higher education after completing his school education. He falls in love with Nene, a modern girl from another culture at university. Both of them live in Lagos, a town of Nigeria. Nene asks Nnaemeka to write a letter to his father about their love and engagement. But Nnaemeka does not because he is afraid of his own father. However, Nene does not believe that parents will be unhappy when their son is engaged to marry.

Nnaemeka goes home on his holidays to convince his father. But his father wants to marriage his son with Ugoye Nweke, a christian girl from Ibo tribe. Nnaemeka refuses to follow the suggestion of his father and clearly tells him that he loves a girl in town. She is Nene Atang and she is the only girl he could marry. She does not belong to the Ibo tribe and she is a teacher. His father believes that a christian woman should not teach so he along with other villagers think that Nnaemeka has gone mad and a devil has entered into his mind.

Then, Nnaemeka goes to town and gets married with Nene. He stops going to visit his father on holidays. However, he sends the wedding picture to his father. His father tears the picture and sends back. There is no connection between Nnaemeka and his father, Uekeke for about eight years. Nene makes good relation with people living in Lagos. Nnaemeka and Nene have two sons. Nene writes a letter to her father-in-law, Okekeasking to let his two grandchildren visit their grandfather. She also requests him to take Nnaemeka and his two children for a few days while she would stay in town alone.

When Okeke gets this message, he is not able to resist his heart. He imagines his two grandchildren playing with him. Suddenly, love emerges from his heart for them. He knows that he could not stop loving his innocent grand children. Thus, he decides to go to town to take them.

Application of Four Levels

1. Literal Comprehension:

The story shows the conflict between old and new generation. Nnaemeka is the central character of this story who is from Ibo tribe community, a village of Nigeria. His father who name is Okeke, is very traditional and rigid. Nnaemeka lives in town, Lagos for studying higher education at University where he falls in love with Nene, a modern girl from different caste and religion. They love each other and promise to live together having marriage. With this message, Nnaemeka goes to village to visit his father and tries to convince him about his love relation with Nene. But his father strongly rejects it and tells him that he has already decided him to get marriage with a girl from Ibo tribe and christian religion. Nnaemeka replies that he loves and gets marriage with only one girl who is Nene. Then, he leaves the village and gets marriage with Nene in the town. He sends the wedding card to his father but his father tears it. he stops visiting his father on his holidays. There is no communication between them for eight years. Nene makes the good relationship with all the people in the town. one day she writes a letter to her father-in-law that his two grand children want to see him. She also says that it would be better if he takes Nnaemeka and two children for few days receiving such message, Okeke imagines that he is with two grandchildren in a play, strong love emerges from heart. So, he decides to go to take them as soon as possible.

2. Interpretation:

In this story, Achebe has shown his deep interest in the beliefs and traditions of the Ibo people. Conservative and superstitious Ibo people are dominated by local color and taste. Okeke is a devoted follower of the Bible. He does not accept Nene as a daughter-in-law because she teaches in a school. His society does not allow him to accept Nene who is from different tribe. On the other hand, his son Nnaemeka does not follow the traditional values. This brings conflict between the father and son. However, the old man is compelled to accept his son and daughter-in-law although he is angry with them. Thus, this story portrays the realistic conflict between old and new generations and claims that marriage is a private affair.

3. Critical Thinking:

This story is realistic and moral that represents the conflict between old and new generations. All people take interest and participate themselves in this marriage's affair in which both participants must take their order and suggestion. This trend is old and adopted by Okeke in the story. Nnaemeka who adopts new concept and violates the old concept thinking that marriage is a private affair. However, some few ideas in the story. Nnaemeka who adopts new concept and violates the old concept thinking that marriage is a private affair. However, some few ideas in the story are less convincing. Can a father really love his tribe more than his son? Does it bring happiness to one who goes against social norms, values and rules of the particular society by just adopting another culture? Can a private marriage always create pleasure? Recently, we can see that private affair of marriage is bringing lots of global problem rather than arranged marriage. Frequent events of divorce are occurring in private marriage cases. In such condition, how can we consider private marriage as the perfect example? When Okeke could not convince his son Nnaemeka not to marry with Nene, he completely refused his son. How can a father reject a son due to his misunderstanding of marriage?

4. Assimilation:

This story is very much impressive in my life. Like Nnaemeka's family, my family is also conservative and traditional in the village. Once I went to village and told them that I was going to have marriage with a girl, who is educated with good profession but from different religion and caste. But my father and mother directly rejected it rather advised me to get marriage with village girl whose caste and religion is accepted by the society. Rejecting their suggestion, I came back to Kathmandu and got married with girl with whom I was in love. Now I am very happy with my family that we became success to convince both mother and father and they are also living in Kathmandu with us most of the time than in our village.

(Bastakoti, (2007). A Combined Guide To Compulsory English. Kathmandu: Kalyani Prakshan)